The Australian saga of my Australian cycling continues, and to help illustrate it's utter nuttiness I am punctuating this post with lovely photographic evidence of 'sane' cycling conducted to the north of us.
Last week a NSW policeman turned up on my door step quite randomely. Initially I thought the worst but he quickly reassured me that he was not the bearer of 'really bad news ... only a summons.'
"Oh is that all?!" I said, mightily relieved. Well, he wasn't sure that was quite the right sentiment but he got my drift.
So then we got to the nuts and bolts as to why he was at my place and once he had officially established who I was, he gave me the summons and informed me that I was required to be in an Adelaide court on Tuesday 7th April 2015 to enter a plea for the crime of not wearing a bicycle helmet whilst riding a bicycle in Adelaide.
'Hmmmm,' I wondered out loud, 'how come I didn't get a court attendance notice before this summons?'
He had no idea but showed me on the summons that I'd actually already missed an Adelaide court date (WTF: that is not me at all - no-one could ever accuse me of wilfully missing an opportunity to defend the 'cycling-without-a-plastic-head-container' crime!)
He then suggested I rang the Adelaide court to have a chat about my queries which I duly did the minute he left my home. And it turned out that not only had I missed one Adelaide court date but I'd missed two ... both in March just gone!
Horrified, I mentioned to the court that at no point did I ever receive notification that I was required to present myself in court on either of those dates.
Soothed by the court's helpful suggestions, I put all this in an email and also requested permission to have my hearing heard via telephone link in order to negate the need for me to go to Adelaide.
With the tele-link permission granted, last Tuesday an Adelaide court rang my home, and I entered a plea of 'not guilty' over the phone ...
I was then reminded by the court over the phone that in Australia you have to wear a helmet when you cycle (do I still have an english accent?) and that if I entered a plea of 'guilty' everything could be sorted out right there and then.
Not guilty, I insisted, thus requiring a new date to be arranged for a hearing - in July this time and in person.
"Heigh ho heigh ho it's off to Adelaide I go!"
And so the circle of cycling-life in the Land of No continues ... sigh